Thoughts About My Mother

The most beautiful word on the lips of mankind is the word “Mother,”
and the most beautiful call is the call of “My mother.”
It is a word full of hope and love,
a sweet and kind word coming from the depths of the heart.

The mother is everything— 
she is our consolation in sorrow,
our hope in misery, and our strength in weakness.
She is the source of love, mercy, sympathy, and forgiveness….

Everything in nature bespeaks the mother.
The sun is the mother of earth and gives it its nourishment of heart;
it never leaves the universe at night until it has put the earth to sleep to the song of the sea and the hymn of birds and brooks.

And this earth is the mother of trees and flowers.
It produces them, nurses them, and weans them.
The trees and flowers become kind mothers of their great fruits and seeds.
And the mother, the prototype of all existence, is the eternal spirit, full of beauty and love.

—Kahlil Gibran

As I was showering and thinking and in a sense — in my meditation, I was reflecting on my mother and what it felt like to be in her presence. I have to say, it was difficult at times, never was she really sure of her role as a mother, nor my role as her daughter. It could be volatile, which came from a deep insecurity on my part, never really feeling like there was a love bond, but more a bond of necessity. We were thrown together as mother and daughter, and those of you who are familiar with my teachers, know there are no accidents, so we did choose each other.

My insights into this have been that we both had a lot of learning and growing to do, and a lot of insecurity. My mom really didn’t know how to love. She was one of six children, with a father that was absent because of working and pleasurable outings. Her mother was sickly, and the children were doled out to other relatives, so how did my mother learn how to be a mother? It was thrust upon her in a sense, when she became pregnant for the first time.

Mom was young, inexperienced and newly married. I can only speculate what that must have felt like to her. My mom and I never really had those kinds of conversations, to get to know one another in the deepest sense of the word. I would do my thing, and she would do hers. We did over our time as mother and daughter, have a few glimpses into each other, but it was indeed a rare thing.

I cherish with the deepest of my soul those times when we did connect deeply and openly and honestly. It was very cathartic for me, but I really cannot tell you how it was for her, because she rarely would give me insights into who she was, what she felt, and what she believed true for herself, because in reality she did not know that herself. She, in many ways, was a frightened little girl wearing grown up clothes and living in a grown up world, with thoughts and wonderment of who she was, and what her role was?

So my wish for all of you is that you take time to first love yourself, nourish that little one inside of you, that scared little child that feels lost, and uncared for, love that child, embrace that child within and believe with every fiber of your being that the little child within is worthy of life, is worthy of love, and hug this little child from the inside out. You are here on the planet as a loving being that cares and can nourish yourself. Please by all means take the time to do this, Then give of that love to those that you see that appear lost, or lonely and scared, and reach out to them with your heart and your love and embrace them. Give of yourselves and be kind and gentle and loving and caring to all beings. You are here now to do this and it is so necessary.

One thought on “Thoughts About My Mother

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s